Glittersmacked

The logo for the London 2012 Summer Olympic Games has just been unveiled. Smashing! Worth every one of the 800,000 or so dollars paid to the artistic consulting firm comissioned to produce it. N'est pas?

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Somewhat shockingly, early reports indicate that - far from being hailed as a logo which unites Britons in the spirit of the games - the loud, pink logo above has succeeded only in uniting them in utter condemnation. Riot police have been dispatched all across the city, as men and women alike leave work in droves to join impromptu street protests.

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"Bollocks!!", screams 52-year old Lynne Grainger, as she hurls an empty gin bottle towards the Japanese embassy.

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"I get out of France to escape the headscarf ban, and now this?! I'm gone. This is the end of the road for me," says Fatima Mahmoud as she boards a plane for her native Algiers.

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"We've had enough of this nonsense! Enough! Fuck the Kyoto pact!", screams a group of angry teens on a looting and burning rampage in Picadilly circus.

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The Prime Minister's Office could not be reached for comment.