Keeping Abreast
The words “probate exception” do not titillate. And yet a saucy, decade-long legal battle over a fortune of nearly half a billion dollars hinges on this clause, which deals with the boundaries between state and federal courts in estate disputes. At issue is whether Vickie Lynn Marshall, a former Playboy pin-up and exotic dancer better known as Anna Nicole Smith, will get anything from the estate of her late husband, J. Howard Marshall, an oil tycoon with assets estimated at $1.6 billion.
On May 1st, Ms Smith won an important victory. Although her inheritance remains uncertain, the United States Supreme Court (no less) unanimously ruled that she could pursue her case in federal court. One suspects the justices were enjoying themselves, for once.
The details of the case have kept the tabloids busy. Marshall met Ms Smith when he was wheeled into the Texas strip club where she was dancing. After a courtship of a few years, full of expensive gifts (such as $2m in jewellery) and pricier promises, the two were married in 1994. She was 26, he was 89. Fourteen months later, Marshall dropped dead of a heart attack, leaving nothing to Ms Smith in his will.
The dispute has seen the inside of five courthouses since 1995, when Ms Smith first sued Marshall's son, E. Pierce Marshall, in a Texas state court, accusing him of cutting her off from the estate. She insists that Marshall promised her half his fortune. His son, seething at what he considers Ms Smith's gold-digging (he calls her “Miss Cleavage”), argued that Marshall had already given her $6m in gifts and did not intend to leave her more. Ms Smith got nothing from her first lawsuit, but was awarded $475m in a federal bankruptcy ruling in California in 2000. A federal district court judge cut this award to $89m, and then a US appeals court ruled that the issue was not a federal matter.
The Supreme Court justices, who heard arguments in February, have not weighed in on the merits of Ms Smith's case. Indeed the buxom blonde, who sniffled disingenuously during the hearings, has hardly been a sympathetic figure. The court's opinion, written by Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, is a technical one that measures the scope of the probate exception. It leaves to state courts the probate or annulment of a will and the administration of an estate. This puts Marshall's estate back into play, and ensures that bitter legal wrangling will stretch on for years.
The Clouds Have Parted
So you know the score...the run around, the bullshit, the "can I help you"s. Clothes shopping. Every man's nightmaare. And don't hand me any of that crap about the homo fashionista. Because I will not deal. I just won't. The fact is that I have not had a positive clothes shopping experience in...forever. Until today.
I have two words for you: Value Village. Which in turn brings me to one word: Mecca. At least if you're attending a party where the dress code is "whacky and tacky" and you're looking to go full blown. But even if you're not, this place is this shizznazz. The only workers are illiterate Armenian Jews with no confidence in the English language, the clothes are vintage and strictly classic. I scored the most rocked-out, booyak outfit ever (see picture: I'm the one in the middle). And didn't have to deal with any hassles in the process of securing it. Except for the uphill, against-the-wind, bullshit bike ride required to get there. But I digress.
(don't you just despise people who use the expression "but I digress"? I do.)
Mission accomplished. And done.
Beyond done.
The clouds have parted.
A postmodern masterpiece.
4 AM
New Kakade album out as of last week. It's called "Love Mysterious", which is pretty lame, but, as always, Kaskade has put out some great tracks. Classified as "dance" (which I don't think should classify anything except that crap we used to listen to in the early/mid 90s e.g. Black Box, Snap, BKS, C and C Music Factory), its more like House/Lounge. A few downtempo tracks but mostly deep house with lots of vocals and acoustic sounds mixed in. Saw him live in Osaka: incredible.
Favourite tracks off the album so far: 4AM and Stars Align. You can check out snipits on the iTunes music page. A lot of Kaskade's other stuff is available either there or the file sharing networks, but right now the only place to get the whole album is on iTunes. Tracks from earlier albums I recommend: Steppin' Out, It's You It's Me, Seeing Julie, Heartbeat.
Kaskade, baby: Check it out.
Vacuum Sealed
"Ok now I'm going to show you the movement.
Please just watch the first time around".
We all know why she says 'please' like that. Rainbow's going to ignore her and try and do it anyway. She always does. Without fail. I think Julia's a bit exasperated. I try not to look. But it's like a car accident: grizzly, but you can't help yourself.
Rainbow Modesto Glittersmacks is in her mid 70s. She's got frizzy grey hair about shoulder length and a face with more wrinkles than an elephant's ass. She's thin. Rail thin. Her hips are thin too, but there's an inordinately large amount of flesh on her bottom. It looks wierd. From the back it's almost like she's wearing a diaper. From the front, you can tell she isn't.
I'm not even sure if she likes Tai Chi. After the first couple of classes I overheard her complaining about how there isn't enough focus on the breathing, how yoga is much better, blah blah blah. But there she is, every class, without fail.
If it were me I'd cut my losses. She is, by far, the worst in the class. At numerous points in the set she'll be facing the wrong way, or moving the wrong hand, or just totally clueless about where to move next. I've come close to explosive laughter at least a few times. Maybe it would help if she actually watched the teacher do the movement first instead of trying to do it straight away. But no.
I really believe that if it were just the frustrating way she ignores the teacher, or the fact that she sucks and is distracting, or the fact that she wears a Helly Hanson jacket and thinks she's 23, or even the daiper-butt, I'd be able to deal with Ms. Rainbow Modesto Glittersmacks. Alas, it is not only these things that make it difficult to deal.
From day one, Rainbow has elected to wear form-fitting active wear. Very form fitting, and on a form most would not want to have to fit. I've often wondered if she isn't trying to vacuum seal her body in an effort to preserve freshness. Because each and every protruding bone, curve, and flap of skin is in full view. Thus, one of the regular features of my morning Tai Chi classes is a full blown 70+ camel toe. Full blown. And there's not a soul in the class who doesn't notice it.
Now I know that the achievement of a flowing, meditative state is an important goal for the Tai Chi initiate, but let me tell you, if your class features Rainbow Modesto Glittersmacks a.k.a the Toe, you're going to need a helluva lot more practice time. I wonder if Julia has a plan of attack. Or if I should try to formulate one.
Any suggestions?
